Tyrants and Tantrums

Last night I gave Mom her nighttime meds; oxy for pain and elavil for sleep. She is supposed to wait to take the elavil until she wakes in the middle of the night. The doc said that taking multiple sedatives at once is contributing to her HE episodes and even instigating them. Even so, Mom is so used to meds that taking what would knock out a horse barely takes the edge off the pain. The way she was acting last night, constantly asking for more meds and accusing me of withholding them, I assumed she took them at the same time and was having an HE moment. 

Nope. She came to me at 1:30am and asked for elavil. I told her I already gave it to her, but she argued that I hadn't. I finally went to check and it turns out she hadn't taken it. We both learned a new lesson; she learned to listen when I'm trying to tell her where I put her meds (she was so angry that she was hearing without listening), and I learned to double check that she takes what I give her and doesn't overlook meds she has access to. She was cute, though, when she was apologizing and telling me she just has to get used to this med management thing. It's new for us and I'm trying to make sure she gets what she needs without seeming overbearing. Hard line to walk. 

Also, whatever Mom told them in the hospital instigates yet another safety visit from APS. It was so hard not to laugh when the social worker pulled up. She called the house and Mom answered (on speaker phone, no less) and was instantly irritated by the existence of a human on her property. The worker was asking if I was home and trying to figure out if she could talk to Mom alone, but Mom was annoyed at the insinuation. The worker even asked if Mom was angry at her, and Mom said no (though she was using that tone that says yes) and that she thought the worker was mad at her. Eventually, she convinced the woman it was okay to come inside, even with me home, and we had another elephant in the room discussion. The kind where they stare me down and try to figure out if beat her or not, and try to make it seem like they're okay with me, but refuse to smile at me because they don't want to be nice to me just in case I do beat her afterall. Hi, awkward. Mom kept joking about how I'm a tyrant and I make her pick a switch off the tree to beat her with and I had to explain that the lady was going to take it seriously. That sort of shocked Mom (kinda cute, really) and she started talking seriously after that. The worker got a taste of Mom's version of "talking things out". Everything the worker said that could help the way we communicate, Mom would rebut with why that won't work or why it pisses her off. In the end, we did manage to get her laughing, especially when she asked Mom to sign a form stating that she was okay with speaking in English and Mom went on a rant about how she "isn't racist but those damn people should learn our language" and "they're stealing our jobs" and "if I went to Germany, I'd have to learn German!" I couldn't stop laughing. It was so fricken hilarious. My Mom was fricken Estelle Getty for a minute there. The worker started laughing and left after that, but it did take a few minutes to get Mom calm enough to sign the one piece of paper. 

For reals, I think I snorted laughing so hard. 

UCLA is still trying to get records to make their decision. Loma Linda oddly sent them records from 2009, but not any other year. Mom's GI sent her records, but maybe I got the fax number wrong, so I gave the phone number to UCLA to see if she could figure out where I went wrong. I talked to ALF yesterday, and they're totally in for the One Night Stand event and I'll talk to them about it more at the liver conference at the end of September. They did give me some dr names that I'll meet at the conference and that work UCSD, which is closer to us and our GI's first choice to send us to. I'm wondering if the problem with the records is G-d's way of saying we should try again for UCSD. My heart does drift in that direction already, since synagogue is there and the hospitals are amazing and the liver life walk is held at the San Diego Zoo...just seems to be a liver disease-aware community. This area, not so much. And UCSD is a good two hours closer to us; I really don't know how Mom would be able to make the drive to UCLA in one piece. I don't know. More prayer before I make a decision on that, I guess. Oy. 

FYI, Mom's med schedule is exhausting for both of us. She takes something at 6, 7, 8, 9, and 11am, then 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, and 10pm. And that's if she sleeps through the night. Trying to not combine sedatives is very difficult and her aciphex can't be taken with anything else. I hope the upcoming dr appts tomorrow and Friday help us figure out a better schedule. I can barely function on the sleep I'm getting.