Mom's mom passed away today. It was an emotionally draining day for everyone. It's too soon to tell how well Mom is handling it. I think she's doing pretty good, though. She isn't starving herself like she did with her sister's passing, and she's crying and talking and seems to be grieving as expected instead of shutting down and going into shock. She did have to be tranquilized a bit, as she was initially hysterical and couldn't even be understood through her sobbing. I took her to see her mother to say goodbye before they moved the body to the funeral home, and that seemed to make her feel better. The funeral director moved the body and was very very nice to Mom, explaining everything he did before he did it and always using words like "carefully" and "gently", which made Mom feel like her mother was in safe hands. He said he would take care of her as if it was his own mother, and that also made her feel better.
She does have some paranoid confusions regarding the circumstances of the death and the home not calling her. She's angry at them, but I'm not sure they did anything wrong. Either way, obsessing about that end of it won't make her feel better. It would only make her feel cheated, and in a way that can't be resolved, so I try to steer her away from that thinking when she goes down that path. It really just looks like her mother's heart finally gave out and she went peacefully. She looked like she was sleeping at the time. This is not the first dead body I've seen up close, either, so I know they don't always look so peaceful when they pass.
There's a list of people who should be calling tomorrow. If anyone would like to call Mom and help her grieve (i.e. listen to her cry and tell you a story you've already heard but she needs to say again like it's new), I'd suggest calling her in another few days. By then, the rest of it will have calmed down and she will be lonely and looking for someone else to call.
Services won't be held until family comes to the area, which won't be for a few weeks. It looks like my uncle is taking care of the planning and I will update as information comes in. So far, nobody knows anything, but the funeral home has her and will "keep her safe," as the director said.
