Nothing to report, really, but it's been a while. Mom is doing well. She is trying to force herself to eat when she is not hungry and not feeling well. This is a daily struggle and some days fair better than others on this front. We are slowly (too slowly) correcting her medication and getting her onto the meds that Hospice threw away. I really wish they didn't do that. We can't afford to replace all of her medication right now, so we will get what we can when we can and she should be back to normal in a few months. She is awake for more hours during the day, which is an improvement on her old habits. I wish I had somewhere to take her (and the time to do it); I know it would improve her morale to have company. She feels much better now that we've had carpet installed. It's not the best carpet, and she paid way too much, and I tried to warn her. But it's done now and she really thought she did well at the time, so I'm trying not to make her feel bad about her purchase. The house is a disaster from moving everything everywhere else to install the carpeting, but I'm taking it as a good thing - it forces me to re-organize and put everything where it belongs.
No doctors appointments, no specialists, nothing to report. She did have physical therapy for her inner ear issue (that caused her to lose balance very often) and it seems that it helped a great deal, but did not entirely solve the problem. We may need to send her back to PT once more to finish the job.
Generally, she is coherent and awake most of the day. She is trying very hard to keep track of her medications. I bought her a calendar and alarm clock from Amazon, but they sent the wrong stuff (a calendar from 2009 and the dual-alarm clock only lets you set one alarm). She occasionally gets her days confused, but she usually asks before taking any medication. She is still trying.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
RIP Fred
Mom has been well since coming home from respite care. She has been careful about her medications and logging everything she does since her last accidental overdose last Wednesday. She is terrified that APS will come and force her onto MediCAL and take her house and put her in a home, so she is motivated to keep up on it. She has a doctor's appointment Wednesday to fill those medications that hospice threw away (which chaps my hide because they are only allowed to discard medications they prescribed and one of those meds was cash-only from a special pharmacy and will cost ~$75/month and they tossed a 2-month supply....thanks) and figure out a game plan on how to tackler her various medical problems.
Today will be hard on Mom. While in respite, she made the decision (FINALLY) to put down the sick dog, Fred. Fred is a female, about 10 years old. Her sister is healthy, but Fred had spinal surgery when she was five years old and has had numerous medical issues since. She is in pain daily, on four medications, and is incontinent. She is a walking health hazard for Mom (and anyone else) and causes so many problems in the house - physically, financially - combined with the fact that the dog is in pain daily....it's way past time to put this dog down. Mom is extremely attached to this dog and today will be a very difficult day for her. I think she finally realized that it's necessary for her health, for her to live a good life, to change what's not working in her life. This is a good thing. I will be with Mom and we will put Fred down together. She will be cremated and put in a little box with a paw print (I know, it's overkill, but it makes Mom feel better about it, so we're doing it).
I want to mention to those who are thinking that this is just some stupid dog and get the hell over it and something hostile and annoying toward Mom or myself: shut the hell up. It's not your dog. It's not your life. And you don't know what that woman has been through or what that dog has seen her through. As annoying as I find the dog, I understand how much this means to her and how her heart is breaking right now. So if you can't find words that aren't asinine, keep them to yourself. She needs support and love right now. Provide it or don't, but don't make it worse by discounting her feelings.
Today will be hard on Mom. While in respite, she made the decision (FINALLY) to put down the sick dog, Fred. Fred is a female, about 10 years old. Her sister is healthy, but Fred had spinal surgery when she was five years old and has had numerous medical issues since. She is in pain daily, on four medications, and is incontinent. She is a walking health hazard for Mom (and anyone else) and causes so many problems in the house - physically, financially - combined with the fact that the dog is in pain daily....it's way past time to put this dog down. Mom is extremely attached to this dog and today will be a very difficult day for her. I think she finally realized that it's necessary for her health, for her to live a good life, to change what's not working in her life. This is a good thing. I will be with Mom and we will put Fred down together. She will be cremated and put in a little box with a paw print (I know, it's overkill, but it makes Mom feel better about it, so we're doing it).
I want to mention to those who are thinking that this is just some stupid dog and get the hell over it and something hostile and annoying toward Mom or myself: shut the hell up. It's not your dog. It's not your life. And you don't know what that woman has been through or what that dog has seen her through. As annoying as I find the dog, I understand how much this means to her and how her heart is breaking right now. So if you can't find words that aren't asinine, keep them to yourself. She needs support and love right now. Provide it or don't, but don't make it worse by discounting her feelings.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Changes come fast.....
Still not a clear understanding of the goings on at my house when I am not there, but here's what I've gleaned and seems to be a consensus amongst various people involved:
~ Mom has been booted from Hospice. She no longer qualifies, perhaps because she wants to fight and perhaps because she is not expected to die within six months.
~ Whomever came to the house and claimed to be animal control was not and scared Mom for some unknown purpose. Still waiting on a call back from the officer on duty in the area during this supposed visit, but animal control maintains that they do, in fact, leave information and case numbers, and that they do not, in fact, require you to put your dog down under these circumstances and that they did not send anyone to the house yesterday. Way to scare a sick woman. I hope whoever did it is proud of themselves for what they've accomplished.
~ No caregiver at this time as we cannot afford it and my brother has changed his mind about paying for someone to watch her. Thus, we will attempt to do this between the two of us, but honestly, I see that becoming the one of me once again very soon.
What I understand that Mom does not:
~ Mom believes that a social worker from APS (from her OD two weeks ago) will return and take her to a place she does not wish to be (i.e. a hospital/convalescent home/etc) if the house is not spic and span in a few weeks. A social worker did come out after her OD, and she will likely follow-up, but she had stated that the claim from the tipline was invalid and that she was trying to help Mom. She was supposed to send info on those lifeline gadgets, such that when Mom falls, she presses a button for help. Have not seen that info yet, but these things take time. I don't think this woman would send Mom anywhere without a very good reason and there is none if she has her mental faculties.
~ Mom was told that I cancelled her MediCAL insurance and that it was the cause of her being discontinued services from Hospice. This is far from true. She has never had MediCAL and I have not had a chance to complete the application. I was waiting for the social worker, who said she would help me with the packet, and then failed to do so and told me to apply by myself over the phone.
~ Mom is convinced that her primary care doctor does not wish to be her doctor anymore. What actually happened is that she tried to make an appointment to see him to get refills on her medications that Hospice took away (which they should have returned, so I have to look into this if they threw away money) and he was overbooked, so they made an appointment with another doctor that she sees often in lieu of her PCP.
I honestly don't understand the hostility I tend to receive with this situation. I have done everything I can to take care of her and to get her to want to be better. Unfortunately, there are negative influences in the world who really ought to learn to stay out of a mess instead of making it worse. We're already stretched; please don't pull harder. If people want to help, I am not above it. I cannot do this on my own. People who want nothing but to complain about the way things are done or what's being done about/to/with Mom only cause conflict and negative feelings and should keep their mean-spirited ideas in their own heads. Thank you.
~ Mom has been booted from Hospice. She no longer qualifies, perhaps because she wants to fight and perhaps because she is not expected to die within six months.
~ Whomever came to the house and claimed to be animal control was not and scared Mom for some unknown purpose. Still waiting on a call back from the officer on duty in the area during this supposed visit, but animal control maintains that they do, in fact, leave information and case numbers, and that they do not, in fact, require you to put your dog down under these circumstances and that they did not send anyone to the house yesterday. Way to scare a sick woman. I hope whoever did it is proud of themselves for what they've accomplished.
~ No caregiver at this time as we cannot afford it and my brother has changed his mind about paying for someone to watch her. Thus, we will attempt to do this between the two of us, but honestly, I see that becoming the one of me once again very soon.
What I understand that Mom does not:
~ Mom believes that a social worker from APS (from her OD two weeks ago) will return and take her to a place she does not wish to be (i.e. a hospital/convalescent home/etc) if the house is not spic and span in a few weeks. A social worker did come out after her OD, and she will likely follow-up, but she had stated that the claim from the tipline was invalid and that she was trying to help Mom. She was supposed to send info on those lifeline gadgets, such that when Mom falls, she presses a button for help. Have not seen that info yet, but these things take time. I don't think this woman would send Mom anywhere without a very good reason and there is none if she has her mental faculties.
~ Mom was told that I cancelled her MediCAL insurance and that it was the cause of her being discontinued services from Hospice. This is far from true. She has never had MediCAL and I have not had a chance to complete the application. I was waiting for the social worker, who said she would help me with the packet, and then failed to do so and told me to apply by myself over the phone.
~ Mom is convinced that her primary care doctor does not wish to be her doctor anymore. What actually happened is that she tried to make an appointment to see him to get refills on her medications that Hospice took away (which they should have returned, so I have to look into this if they threw away money) and he was overbooked, so they made an appointment with another doctor that she sees often in lieu of her PCP.
I honestly don't understand the hostility I tend to receive with this situation. I have done everything I can to take care of her and to get her to want to be better. Unfortunately, there are negative influences in the world who really ought to learn to stay out of a mess instead of making it worse. We're already stretched; please don't pull harder. If people want to help, I am not above it. I cannot do this on my own. People who want nothing but to complain about the way things are done or what's being done about/to/with Mom only cause conflict and negative feelings and should keep their mean-spirited ideas in their own heads. Thank you.
Just Another Wednesday Night
Since Mom's return from respite, a lot of things have changed. Mom is in the hospital bed in the dining room and avoiding entering her bedroom and getting furred up by dogs. She was left to monitor and administer her own medication. She was lucid enough, and the social worker (who I am so not pleased with, it's actually ridiculous) and case manager (who has not been managing her case until this point) dediced she could do this on her own. There was resistance from myself and the nurses who have been caring for her and actually know what they're dealing with, but the case manager is the one in charge and Mom was adamant about wanting to take control of her life and her healthcare. She was having problems remembering how much of which medications to take when, so I helped her pick out her medications the last few mornings. Yesterday, a nurse came out and divided her regular meds vs. her "as needed" medications and put her regular medications in the am/pm pill box. The time was also changed from 6 am/pm to 8 am/pm.
Last night, Mom took both Wednesday PM at 8 PM and Thursday PM pills at 11 PM last night. She freaked herself out and the nurse recommended a night in the ER for observation. They monitored her until after 5 AM as specified by poison control and released her. The meds she took were not the ones that mess with her head and cause her to be loopy (i.e. pain/anxiety meds), but regular medications (i.e. for bladder disease or thyroid) and she didn't notice any real difference. Actually, the worst it did was raise her blood pressure to the level that's normal for most people. This isn't good, because liver disease can cause some blood vessels to rupture and we try to keep her BP low, but it wasn't high enough to cause that sort of damage. Basically, it was an uncomfortable hotel stay. She is home now and I checked her morning medication to make sure she is taking what she is supposed to take, though since I'm told to keep her boxes unlocked, there is no way to prevent this from happening when I'm at work. Mom caught the OD herself and made us aware, and she behaved very well even though she was scared out of her mind. She thought she accidentally killed herself. At least I got an "I love you" out of it. We'll be getting a calendar and clock to try to keep her on track and will be watching very closely until we figure she can do this on her own for real.
A schedule has not been worked out as of yet. We had planned on meeting Tuesday night, but my brother was called out for work and now he works nights (yes, nights, for at least the foreseeable future) so we probably won't have a chance to really hammer it out until next week. Also, someone reported our dogs and animal control came out to the house and sufficiently scared the crap out of Mom. She is stating that we have to put our dogs to sleep and give one to her mother, neither of which is going to happen if I can avoid it. Those dogs, as furry as they are, are family. The sick one (we all know which one) does need to be put down, and Mom just recently came to terms with the idea. What's ironic is that this situation was going to be resolved within a month's time, and someone threw a wrench into the works. Now I have a completely different problem to deal with, and whoever came to the house left no paperwork or instructions for me to follow so I don't know what I'm supposed to do within 30 days. We'll see what happens there, but I may need to find homes for two dogs. This is a devastating blow to us and it comes at a time most unfortunate.
There is a family meeting scheduled for today (who scheduled it, we're not sure...poor communication and insinuations are flying around...I'm distrustful of some of the nursing staff). I may or may not attend via telephone, as it is unclear as to why nobody in the family was informed of the family meeting, but the brother will be there and I will update anything important if I can later.
Last night, Mom took both Wednesday PM at 8 PM and Thursday PM pills at 11 PM last night. She freaked herself out and the nurse recommended a night in the ER for observation. They monitored her until after 5 AM as specified by poison control and released her. The meds she took were not the ones that mess with her head and cause her to be loopy (i.e. pain/anxiety meds), but regular medications (i.e. for bladder disease or thyroid) and she didn't notice any real difference. Actually, the worst it did was raise her blood pressure to the level that's normal for most people. This isn't good, because liver disease can cause some blood vessels to rupture and we try to keep her BP low, but it wasn't high enough to cause that sort of damage. Basically, it was an uncomfortable hotel stay. She is home now and I checked her morning medication to make sure she is taking what she is supposed to take, though since I'm told to keep her boxes unlocked, there is no way to prevent this from happening when I'm at work. Mom caught the OD herself and made us aware, and she behaved very well even though she was scared out of her mind. She thought she accidentally killed herself. At least I got an "I love you" out of it. We'll be getting a calendar and clock to try to keep her on track and will be watching very closely until we figure she can do this on her own for real.
A schedule has not been worked out as of yet. We had planned on meeting Tuesday night, but my brother was called out for work and now he works nights (yes, nights, for at least the foreseeable future) so we probably won't have a chance to really hammer it out until next week. Also, someone reported our dogs and animal control came out to the house and sufficiently scared the crap out of Mom. She is stating that we have to put our dogs to sleep and give one to her mother, neither of which is going to happen if I can avoid it. Those dogs, as furry as they are, are family. The sick one (we all know which one) does need to be put down, and Mom just recently came to terms with the idea. What's ironic is that this situation was going to be resolved within a month's time, and someone threw a wrench into the works. Now I have a completely different problem to deal with, and whoever came to the house left no paperwork or instructions for me to follow so I don't know what I'm supposed to do within 30 days. We'll see what happens there, but I may need to find homes for two dogs. This is a devastating blow to us and it comes at a time most unfortunate.
There is a family meeting scheduled for today (who scheduled it, we're not sure...poor communication and insinuations are flying around...I'm distrustful of some of the nursing staff). I may or may not attend via telephone, as it is unclear as to why nobody in the family was informed of the family meeting, but the brother will be there and I will update anything important if I can later.
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