Two caregivers will be out tomorrow. One (Erin) is hired already and we've been negotiating hours. Erin and I are on the same page, but Mom is so afraid of running out of money that she is strongly against having Erin out for more than 9 hours a week (3hrs/day for 3 days). But 3 hours doesn't get much done and wouldn't be enough. Tomorrow will be "training" for Anita. I'm hoping she can cover the other two days a week. I'm excited to see if their personalities mesh well. Go Team Kathy!
I'm hoping that these caregivers will alleviate some of the pressure that Mom unintentionally places on me to take care of her every need. She expects me to clear the house, find a job, cook 8 meals/day (which is the same as cooking about 3 meals/day due to the volume she eats versus the volume I cook), take care of the dogs, take her to her appointments (which we've been booked solid for weeks now) and help her with her paperwork (currently working on 8 applications including several prescription co-pay assistance and weatherization programs) and NOT need a caregiver. She thinks going to the store is a relaxing time because I'm physically away from her. She doesn't understand - I'm still working for her. I've noticed lately that her HE is acting up. She's comprehending less and it takes longer to make things make sense to her - if they ever do. She keeps refilling medication she's not out of because she refilled it early last time and the pharmacy tells her it's been 3 months, so it's okay to order more. The home nurse and I even showed her the medication and she still thought she needed to order more because the medication we were showing her was ordered in April and December. They aren't expired (they don't expire for another year), yet the "refill after" date tells her to order more and she doesn't understand why I wouldn't want her to order more when she has a 3 month supply already. We're cash-poor. Yes, we have money in the caregiver account, but I pretend that money's not there because it's ONLY spent on caregivers. Thus, I have yet another fire under my bum to find a job quickly so that when she spends money willy nilly, I can still afford things like food. Food is rather important to me.
In desperation, I placed a 30% off everything discount code in my store. I still haven't sold anything and I don't know why. I'm going to try to take advantage of the time the caregivers will be out (after training) to not only look for a job, but get some of the crafts done that I really think will sell well. I can't wait to get this stuff sold - it would make us money (for caregiving and other bills) and also clear the dining room and make this house look more like a home.
Mom's blood test results aren't in yet for last week, but the week before was about the same. Her ammonia level is staying around 90, which is too high (it was 87 last week). Long durations at this high ammonia level is what's causing her comprehension problems. What sucks is that she doesn't comprehend that she's having comprehension problems. I get frustrated, she gets her feelings hurt, and our problem doesn't get resolved. I'm working on this with my therapist, but I know that getting a job and being away from her for some time will increase my patience with this. I'm worried that she will get worse and that if she keeps going down this path, she will need to be placed. She has no sense of taste and little sense of smell. She keeps eating spoiled food. She told me this morning that her watermelon was "slimy." I told her that slimy means it's rotten and not to eat it. She argued and said it didn't smell bad and that it didn't taste bad and that it was just a little slimy and I only cut it a few days ago. While I did cut the watermelon only a few days ago, that doesn't mean it can't go bad quickly, especially when it's in Mom's presence. She has a habit of leaving food out of the fridge too long, of using dirty silverware and using the same silverware in all dishes (which means cross-contamination). She fails to understand the consequences of things like this and tells me I'm a hypochondriac. Then why does she keep telling me she thinks she has food poisoning? Maybe caregivers can keep a better eye on this. I keep thinking of her as a logical person, as she always has been. But her illness has changed her, and I must change my expectations of her as appropriate. When we have discussions about it, she gets extremely upset and defensive and hurt. I don't think talking about it with her really does any good. I'm trying to infiltrate more tofu and plant proteins in her diet in place of animal protein. Animal protein has a nasty by-product of ammonia, and plant protein doesn't. Still waiting on referrals for the urologist, neurologist, and GI, but we see the liver doc Tuesday. This last week's blood test included an A1C - we'll see if she's diabetic or hypoglycemic. The lactulose plays hell with her blood sugar. Please tell people about the store. I'm even on google if they type in "fiberedlife." Thank you all.
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