Doctor's appointment was Monday, and Mom heard (again) that she isn't strong enough to drive. She has lost one pound, which the doctor said isn't so bad. He's even considering the possibility that this could be her new plateau weight and she is leveling out. At least that's what he's telling her now. He actually told her the truth on the driving this time - that the liver doctor said she can't drive at all and until they both agree that she can drive, he won't give her the go-ahead. He also said she can stop the potassium if she eats three bananas a week, but she won't do that. Luckily, she has forgotten all about that for now.
She has had better times. Her mind is not working for her right now. She sleeps through most days, but wanders at night and says she's "starving" all the time. She never knows what sounds good, so we suggest things, and eventually say something that she says yes to. We give her food, or she finds it on her own, but then she falls asleep and doesn't eat. Yesterday, she microwaved herself a frozen mac & cheese meal, but didn't heat it thoroughly so it was still cold in the center. She also burned the paper plate to the glass microwave plate (the part that turns), and then left the mac & cheese on the bathroom counter and never ate it. A short time later, she attempted to reheat some shrimp won ton soup (I can't stop her from eating food she leaves out and finds later...drives me batty). She put the soup on the burnt paper plate in the microwave with the fork in the bowl, and I stopped her just in time before she turned that thing on and started another fire. She clogged her toilet again, and it's Saturday, so I told her to use our toilet until Monday when a plumber won't cost as much. This is the fourth time she has clogged it to the point that we can't clear it ourselves. Even the smallest task seems too much for her; she keeps spilling ice everywhere because she places the bowl in the freezer doorway and forgets to put it back on the shelf before closing the door. At some point yesterday, she spilled chicken noodle soup on her bedroom floor over a span of about 3-4 feet. She didn't tell me, but walked on it and ground the noodles into the carpet.
I watch her with her pills, and it's getting harder and harder to get her to take them. The alarm wakes her up about 70% of the time, but then she gets a drink of water and goes back to bed. This morning, when I told her she had to take her pills, she swore she took them already. It took ten minutes to convince her to get up again and take them, and then she couldn't figure out where they were (in a very clearly labeled pill box that says "TODAY'S PILLS" and the "MORNING" portion was open for her...this thing is made for old folks with Alzheimer's and she still has trouble with it). She gets extremely agitated whenever anyone wakes her up or comes into her room (even if she is awake). Yesterday, boyfriend tried to convince her to take her pills, and he was successful, but he couldn't convince her to take her Lactulose. This is one of the more important medications, since it is responsible for clearing her body of toxins as the liver won't do it. When she skips this syrupy liquid, the buildup of toxins, especially ammonia in the brain, only makes her confusion and lethargy worse and will eventually lead to coma. She's halfway there now.
I don't know what to do with this. I'm cleaning up after her and trying to keep her calm and less...irritable. Her mother isn't calling as much and I'm not sure what's happening with that situation since Hospice became involved. That's good, because it was a major stress inducer for her and her mother would call at all hours and interrupt her sleep. However, I don't know how much longer I can keep Mom at the house in this condition. I have asked for help in the past and nobody does (those who can, won't, and those who would, can't), but I honestly fear she will set fire to the house and kill us all soon. She is accident-prone, walks with her eyes closed, and seems to think silverware in the microwave is just fine. I'm chasing a destructive 6-year old who sleeps all day and is up all night and I don't know how to stop her from hurting herself or anyone else. If the government won't help, and private citizens (friends/family) won't help....what am I to do with this?
I start NAMI next week, as suggested by her therapist. Let's see if they have any ideas.
On a side-note: I was involved in a car accident Thursday afternoon. The kid turned left in front of me because he thought he could sneak by, but he waited until I was on top of him before he tried turning. It's clearly his fault, but he's fighting it (why don't humans take responsibility for their own actions??), so I don't know how long this will take before my car is drivable. In the meantime, I have to use Mom's car. This is frustrating because sometimes she says she wants to drive so bad that she'll just go do it, and we usually disconnect the battery so she can't. Having it ready to be driven makes me uncomfortable, so we've been parking inside the gate in hopes that she would be too weak to open the gate on her own.
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